6.         THE FEAR FACTOR

Did you ever fell they did not like you
Or plan harmful things against you
And your friends became less
And turned against you?
I once saw a big man sitting at a door
Day in and night out
That even I said to him he can sleep
And I will stand watch for him
For I know to confront him
I will be one of them
And to block his escape route
I will be one of them.
I know these fears
I had them myself
And I will only be violent
When cornered and fearing my life.
I will only demonstrate aggression
To indicate my displeasure of fear
It is my fear, which cause the pecking order
In the mental health hospital ward
As I fear the behaviour of my neighbours
When I sleep and walk around.
In the nights I dare not sleep
I must not let my guard go
And I can not trust the others
But I find if I bargain well
Others will watch over me
As I can trust them over time
My trembling heart
Will become restful
As it combat the stress.
I must trust others
And make new friends
To watch over me
And your old friends
Will join them in time.

19/09/2003